What Can A Dad Do Other Than Loving?
Hope 👨👦
I am a 46-year-old new dad. I love my son more than anything and I want to do everything possible for him, but sometimes I feel like I don’t know what to do or I feel rather powerless.
There are so many things that need to be done and it feels like there’s never enough time. It seems like all anyone ever talks about is how dads should be doing better, but nobody ever tells us what we can do instead.
Moms play one of the most important parts in their lives for obvious reasons but I think I can assume I have an equal part in the equation.
I work from home and I’m the “go-to” person if an emergency occurs.
Bad Feeling😟
Yesterday, I did receive a call from the daycare that my son wasn’t feeling that well: Sleepy, not hungry, gloomy and irritable.
My son is a very happy little dude, very energetic and eats like a pig…he is not even three.
I knew something was wrong already.
I left work (from home) and went to pick him up and as a very loving and sentimental person, my heart stopped when I saw his face. I knew right away something wasn’t right.
He had “glassy” eyes and red and didn't even smile when he saw me but started to cry and “ran’” into my arms. He was boiling hot.
Powerless😢
As a father, one of the hardest things to witness is your child suffering and knowing that there’s nothing you can do to fix it.
My son came down with a severe fever of 39.2C (102F), and I felt completely powerless.
Based on advice I give him some meds to help him control the pain. He was shaking like a leaf. By meds, I’m referring to Advil for children.
I forced him to drink a little bit of water and I went to the couch. Usually, he would jump on it, run, roll, scream and scare the sh$t out of my poor old dog, but no…
He simply lay on the couch, took his comforters, put his head on my tights and told me
“ I don’t want to play dad, I’m so tired. I will close my eyes now”
My heart STOPPED.
He never ever said that to us (me) it is always a fight to get him to bed and or nap.
I retained my tears so he doesn't realize I was weaker than him at that point of time.
He then fell asleep. I moved him properly on the couch, I sat beside him, I looked at him and I fell in love for a second time with my son since he was born, but a love that cannot be beaten.
Love, just love💙
Blue is the favourite colour of my son since he was born.
All I could do was hold him and offer him words of comfort. I wanted to take away his pain, but there was nothing I could do.
I could hear him make sounds, probably due to dreams and or nightmares.
His “skin” was hurting due to the high fever and he didn't want me to rub his back as usual.
Watching my son suffer was one of the most difficult experiences with him so far. Thankfully, he is recovering slowly and his mom is with him as we speak.
…and more love
Why am I writing something about that?
Probably you won’t even read me or nobody will reach the end. But that experience taught me a valuable lesson: sometimes, the best thing we can do for our kids is just there for them.
Medium has been some sort of daily journal for me. It helps me cope with my feelings and what I go thru every day.
So I promise this, I will love my son even more every day. I’m not that young anymore and I want the best for him.
Yesterday was a wake-up call. What if he would have gone into some high fever shock? What if something ever worst would have happened? I could never bare the loss of my child. It would be IT for me.
Love.
The moral of my story
You never know what can happen. Cherish your kids like it was the last time you would see them.
I feel a bit too sentimental today, and yes, I’m proud to say I’m a 6-foot tall, 190 pounders dude that is not shy to cry, to talk about feelings and to share my point of view.
Have a wonderful day and weekend. (writing this on a Friday)
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