My 3 Years Old Asked Me: Where is Granny? This is How I Reacted.
I never thought I would be one of those dads who has to deal with hard questions about death at such a young age, but my 3-year-old asked me yesterday while being at home because it was super sick:
“Where is Granny?”
I started to cry because I didn’t know how to answer him. Also, the fact that my mom passed out no later than in May this year and the funerals were in July.
It’s still quite fresh in my mind.
This post is about how I dealt with this uncomfortable subject and tried to explain to a 3-years-old sick little boy that he would never see her again, at least, on earth, but I won’t get into that topic, way too risky!
Check my post about dealing with sick children.
My Approach
Death is a difficult topic for adults, let alone your children. It’s hard to know what to say when someone we love dies, and it can be even harder to explain death to a child.
I tried to be as honest and simple as I could. I did not try to sugarcoat it. It’s important for children to understand what has happened and why.
I told him that she was very sick (FCUK Alzheimer!) and that she had gone into the clouds in the sky. I explained that GrandMa’ was in a place where people went when they died and that she was now happy and free from pain.
Then he tells me:
OK, then when we will go back to her house, she will be there?
I told him no she is on a cloud and she won’t be there and he replies:
Is her house is brown too in the cloud?
I told him
Maybe Zach, please close your eyes, you are very sick, and you might see her
…and he said OK dad. I’m tired now. I will close my eye.
Don’t have to tell you my eyes were full of water and my heart was pumping and I didn’t know what just happened.
Moral of the Story
I won’t lie, I still have a ball in my throat just writing this here.
But I guess it had to be done. Children are so innocent. They don’t mean harm when they ask questions. They don’t have any filters, no matter how shocking it can be, it is important to keep one’s composure, take a deep breath and dive.
🙏 Je t’aime Maman. 🙏
Please tell me in the comments below if you had to do the same thing to your child.
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